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LiteratureDAZ by Cr3at1v1tyL1v3s


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Submitted on
August 27, 2012
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I'm not that type – so don't expect me to be.
I don't flirt and tease and laugh because I like you.
(If I did like you, I'd let you know.)
Its only purpose is to keep you from noticing that I'm dissecting your brain,
And when I know what I need to know,
Then we'll talk.

I'm not that type of person;
I'm quiet because I'm listening to the music inside my head.
(It has a mean bass line.)
And I don't need you to help me "open up".
I am a perfectly functional human being –
Albeit a bit psychotic, in my darker moments.

Sure, I walk around with my head in the clouds,
And listen to Metallica when I'm doing yoga,
And I like to pretend I'm a rockstar when no one's looking,
And my feet are always blistered from dancing outside.
It only reminds me that I am real,
And my neural pathways are still intact.

I'm not that type.
I'm not sorry for disappointing you,
I'm not sorry for not being who you thought I was.
I'm not sorry for not fitting in.
I'm not sorry for being human.
I'm not sorry for being possessed by this beautiful discord.

Because I'm the antichrist to your heavenly stereotype,
The horns that hold up your halo.
I'm the one your mother warned you about,
The one that's just this right of wrong.
I'm the chaos hiding in your closet, waiting to scare you shitless.
I am every single human, uncomfortable truth.

So I won't mind if you get angry,
And hurt because I didn't live up to your sophisticated expectation.
I won't mind if you beat me down, (or try to)
Because I remembered my armor today.
You can leave a message on my answering machine –
The one that roars like a dinosaur, instead of beeping.

I'll be busy practicing my Firefly pose,
Hanging in a precarious balance
And singing along with 'Enter Sandman'
And seeing how long it takes me
To either pass out or forget the words.
(Sometimes the two actually go together.)

I'll be busy running with the coyotes
And finding new ways to fuck up my hair
And contradicting the world with people like me
And reinventing the definition of shock value.
I'll be busy debunking your cynicism
And the labels you like to slap on the 99%.

I'm not sorry for the way I was brought up,
Or the values that keep me grounded.
I'm not sorry for my irreverence in the face of your usurped power,
Or the little things I do to piss you off.
I'm not sorry for the colors in my mind, or my musical hands,
Or even the fucked-up way I speak.

I'm not sorry for a single bit of my existence,
And I'm not ashamed of being your anti-stereotype.
My rebellion is a composite of little things, and bigger things, and abstract things, and not-so-concrete things.

OH GOD. I'm being philosophical. Promise I'm not as think as you drunk I am...

For real, though. This bottle is just water. And it's giving me a brainfreeze.

This started out as something completely different. That happens like... nine out of ten times I try to write something. And for the most part, I'm past caring.

The first stanza or so started out as this feeling I get whenever I think about being in a relationship with someone -- I literally get sick to my stomach. I want to throw up. Or punch a wall. It makes me sick and angry and the sad part is, I've never even been in a "proper" relationship before. Just the thought of it makes me see red, because I don't want to risk damage from another person (let alone leave them alive to tell about it).

And yet here I am flirting my ass off because I think it's funny, and because it distracts people from the awkwardness that is me trying to read them. WAIT I have to go put on my 'PROFESSIONAL IDIOT' t-shirt.

In any case, that's the feeling I started out with. And then it somehow evolved into rebellion against the 1%, and how even small rebellions count. Oh, and there's some stuff tossed in there about having unpopular beliefs, and keeping them because they keep me grounded and my head screwed on straight. Also, typical weirdness, all shoved head-first into a blender and set on 'pulverize'.








Don't judge me. I was cheated out of my coffee this morning.
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:icondwn966kuruman:
DWN966KuruMan Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm anti-stereotype as well, because I wanna be myself. I am I; I am me...
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:iconveritas08:
veritas08 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Student Writer
I kind of know how you feel. I think this guy down the hall likes me, but he's really not my type. And I just see him as a friend because he reminds me of myself. Like we have a lot in common and he's pretty introverted and shy.
Reply
:iconpyroninja999:
PyroNinja999 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug: My ninja twin! I love you, despite your numerous guy problems. XD

I don't even have to imagine someone else to get that sick feeling; just thinking about being tied to someone like that makes me want to drop-kick something heavy through a window. ARGH.

In any case. Other than guy problems, how's life? Started class yet??
Reply
:iconveritas08:
veritas08 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Student Writer
To me, its not being tied to someone. It's someone caring a lot about you. ^.^ The knowledge that someone really cares about me makes me happy. XD But I don't have any guys problems right now really. Just lots of guy friends now. XD That's what happens when you talk 2 random people during meal times and you live on the engineering floor. Started class Monday. It's great. Easy so far since we've just been going over the syllabus. Hows ur classes so far, if you've started?
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:icon77sparrow77:
77sparrow77 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012
i dont get this poem.....:(
Reply
:iconpyroninja999:
PyroNinja999 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I never saw the point of "getting" poetry. It will show you what you need to know when it feels like it. If you try to force information out of it, it won't make sense. So let it speak. :)

But if you're really curious, I have about three words that I ran with when I was writing this: confusion, rebellion, and the title word, anti-stereotype. Hope that helps! :heart:
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:icon77sparrow77:
77sparrow77 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012
thanks :)
Reply
:iconlevitating-narwhal:
Levitating-Narwhal Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Student General Artist
Someone stole your coffee?! I call shenanigans!
Reply
:iconpyroninja999:
PyroNinja999 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ahahahaha XD

Not stolen, cheated out of. They had no sugar, and I couldn't go grab any. -.- Now I have my own coffee maker and sugar, though, so the system is officially beaten. =P
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:iconlevitating-narwhal:
Levitating-Narwhal Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2012  Student General Artist
Yaa! Stick it to the MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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